Thursday, October 11, 2007

Cinematical Seven: Imaginary Movie Gadgets We Want

Cinematical Seven: Imaginary Movie Gadgets We Want

We have always had a love affair with gadgets, whether a Dick Tracy decoder ring or a watch that can shoot out a grappling hook. If it's cool and useful, chances are everyone wants one. Who didn't want to be the first kid on the block with an iPod, the coolest new cell phone or a Segway? Okay, scratch that last one, but you catch our drift. Who hasn't seen a gadget in the movies at one time or another and thought, "Wow, I want one of those!"

While we still don't have robots that clean the house and the flying cars that the 1950s promised us by this time, our lives have become pretty overtaken by gadgets. You're reading this right now on a computer (or even a cell phone), which used to be a room-sized device. You probably have an iPod or some other type of music player that holds hundreds of songs, and you might be zapping your next meal in a microwave. If you travelled back in time to the 50s (or even the 1970s), with all that stuff, you'd be a human sci-fi movie.

These are some movie gadgets that would make life a bit easier, or at least a lot more enjoyable. James Bond could have monopolized this list, because gadgets really are his "thing," but we tried to spead the love around. It was tough to keep things that were magical off the list, like Harry Potter's invisibility cloak (honestly, who wouldn't want anything from the Harry Potter universe?) or the lamp from Aladdin, but we tried to keep them fairly practical as well.

Check out our ideas after the jump.

  1. The flashing, portable memory eraser from Men in Black and Men in Black II --This would come in so handy in just about every situation, especially if you end up getting audited by the IRS. Did you accidentally screw up at work, and now your boss wants your head? FLASH! No you didn't! Does someone in your life hold a grudge against you? FLASH! No they don't! There's pretty much an endless amount of uses for this thing, although who knows how long the battery lasts. It's a bit like having your own Jedi mind trick in your pocket.
  2. An R2-D2 unit from Star Wars -- Speaking of the Jedi mind trick, having your own would make things handy around the house. He could probably fix your car, record your TV shows (bye bye, TiVo!), and handle any Imperial entanglements. Plus, with all of his attachments, R2 can also serve drinks, play holograms, serve as your opponent in chess, use his buzzsaw for DIY home improvement jobs, hold your lightsaber for emergency use, and fly around to entertain guests. This guy is a one-stop party device. If he can store and play MP3 files, he's also your beeping, booping jukebox. So long, iPod.
  3. Rick Deckard's ESPER photo enhancement unit from Blade Runner -- This film came out in 1982 when the word Photoshop hadn't even been invented yet. Deckard slips a photo into the little unit on top of his television, and with a few simple voice instructions he zooms through a lot of photo manipulation, uncovering clues about the Replicants he is after. Hook this sucker up to your own home entertainment system and you can remove all the red eyes, perform all the crops and resizes, and print out as many hard copies as you need to, just by talking to it. Plus, it makes cool little clicking and whirring sounds. Spiffy.
  4. The Orgasmatron from Sleeper -- This closet-sized booth used technology to give you orgasms instantaneously. Who wouldn't want one of these things around? Just don't try to hide in it like Woody Allen did. It renders you sort of ... useless. Forget the Rabbit from Sex in the City, this thing works in mere seconds. Just open the door, enter, and you're in instant bliss. Plus, you could have endless fun at cocktail parties by swapping out your coat closet with one of these.
  5. Tom Cruise's police computer in Minority Report -- It makes you look a bit goofy, waving your hands around like you're directing an orchestra that isn't there (or like you just don't care), but this is one cool computer. No mouse, no keyboard, just virtual screens and your hands. Of course, you do have to wear funky Michael Jackson-ish racing gloves while you use it, but that's a pretty small price to pay for looking fairly cool.
  6. The automatic makeup applier from The Fifth Element and the auto-lacing Nikes and automatic-sizing jacket from Back to the Future II -- Face it, you're a busy person with a busy lifestyle. Who has time to tie laces and put on makeup? You could do it in a flash if you had these gadgets. Automatic nail coloring, flash-pop instant eye makeup, clothes that dry and size themselves -- who couldn't use something like that? It's 2006, why don't we have automatic style by now? Just beware when the clothing gains sentience and takes over the world.
  7. 007's keychain from The Living Daylights -- What, you thought James Bond wouldn't make it onto the list? Bond has had more cool gadgets than any other movie character, even Batman. In fact, James Bond probably has a pretty dangerous life, even when he's not on assignment. He has to be extremely careful when doing something as simple as brushing his teeth, since his toothbrush is probably a flamethrower. The most useful of all of his gadgets has to be this keychain. It has stun gas, an explosive charge, and could open "90% of the world's locks." Even a decent locksmith can't handle that many. That's a lot of locks. Plus it apparently holds your keys, too.

What are some movie gadgets that you want to have?


regina said...

Very imaginative and cool. I am awed. But it would be so much cooler if they could come up with the real stuff...

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